There is nothing worse that self-doubt I tell you, absolutely nothing. When that ugly thing begins to rear its head inside you and you let it, that’s when you begin to question everything.  EVERYTHING. You never quite grasp the magnitude of how important believing in yourself is, until I experienced self-doubt and almost allowed it to ruin my life. Whoever said college was easy is a liar because it is the hardest thing that I am yet to overcome, this might seems as an easy feat to some, I mean it used to be for me till I actually saw failure right in front of me. I’ve never had to push myself so much until now, there’s so much that is required of you and if you for once begin to question your abilities then you’ll crumble, and I know I did. First year was an eye opener for me, honestly I’m glad that I had to go through that because it made me grow so much as a person and I learnt to handle my responsibilities as a young adult. It’s not like I never went for classes or did not study, it’s that I thought that was enough, just going to class and studying 5 days before the exam, it might work for some people but definitely not for me. I had to learn how to put in the extra work because NO ONE was going to do it for me. Here, there is no time to sulk around on your failures, it’s like FUCKING PICK YOURSELF UP, because another trailer is on its way. Mann, it was and is still tough. However, it was much needed, I mean how would I be here if I didn’t go through all that you know. I’m currently rounding up second year and it really wasn’t how I expected it to be, still so many things to learn and grow from. Don’t even think its all sweet an uphill from here because it really isn’t.  The one thing that I learnt through all these experiences is resilience.  Resilience is choosing to continue despite insurmountable failures, resilience is pushing and not giving up, it is crying at 3am and questioning your faith, it is learning that you have to reach your goal, resilience will get you to your final destination.  No one prepares you for what you’re going to face while growing up, you have to be the teacher and student at the same time which is the beauty of life I suppose. I guess it’s up to us to steer our lives in whatever direction we choose.


2 thoughts on “GROWTH

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